Too much information blocks my brain...
of an unknown girl of 18 who died... of the cigarettes i've been smoking since i was 18... of the father whom i dont know, but love since i could reason.... of the illnesses which plague me, my family. i am but a muddle of thoughts right now.
His hands keep shaking... lifting that cuppa tea, or that spoon to eat... and he goes to get it checked... they say that the shivers which run through his nerves might be the early signs of Parkinsons disease... and i feel the tear running down my face as he tells me... i love him... daddy.... Oh! daddy! Daddy daddy daddy.
I ponder at the unexpectedness of it all.. of the swiftness with which he changed from the young dad to the old man... his face hangs and his eyes droop... and it scares me when i look at him... coz i need him... i need them both... my only solace... my only consolation... the beats which keep me ticking.
She fainted a month ago... her sugar was high... i know the diesease is eating her alive... I hug her to feel bones alone... the flesh slowly disappearing... and the physical pain inside my chest is unbearable... coz I love.
Ans so i think... why love? detach... but how does one detach from those that matter ... for those who make ure life meaningul... for those who give u reason to smile.... coz I love... therefore I am in pain.
2 comments:
Ow shit ow shit these are signs of all of us growing up and older.
Here is a short prayer in response to both these posts
With friendship please serve,
And conquer all the hearts,
Please think that others are like you,
Please forsake war for ever,
Please forsake competition for ever,
Please forsake force to get,
Some one else property,
For mother earth is a wish giving animal,
And God our father is most merciful,
Restrain, donate and be kind,
To all the people of this world.
Let all the people live with bliss,
yr heart is pumping fountain to emotions for yr mom & dad!
cherish every moment spend wid them
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