An uneasy feeling grips me from time to time. That time is now. And the feeling has gripped me by the neck and is threatening to strangle me once again.
I would like to articulate the reasons, but they elude me... or I pretend they do.
I peep into the blackhole called 'future' and it scares me.

I walk left and right, thinking of nothing... something. Uneasy.. as always.
I smoke cigarette after cigarette, till my chest feels heavy and my mouth goes dry. I want to throw up, but I havent eaten anything.

I long for ma. she's coming this weekend... the days crawl by. I dream a bad dream and I get up with a heavy head.
Unable to smile... so I perfect the fake.