Tuesday, March 18, 2008

This too shall pass

And so... the deed is done.
I met a stranger and now strange things seem to be happening to me. I decided to do the unexpected, and now the unexpected is happening to me.
I'm getting married... on the 19th of April...to a man whom I met a month ago.
Life has been moving like a tornado since I made the decision. Facts and fiction blurred. Is it MY wedding or someone else's?
The woman who lives in a dream, has been hit by reality, and doesnt know where to turn.
Don't ask me how I did it... how I said yes. I've tried to decipher that exact question ever so often in the last month. I look at myself in the mirror and am not certain that it's me...
He is everything my parents want... and at some level so do I. I wanted to be with someone who respected me... and here I have all the respect in the world. I wanted to be appreciated for who I am.. and that is exactly what is happening.
And yet...the past haunts me... my decisions haunt me... my life haunts me....I haunt me.
The mentally deranged woman in me screams again and again. The Rudali crying inside of me... what do I want? Dunno. Just to let it out.