Ok then....moral dilemma here I come!!! this perpetual habit which I have of being completely undecisive about things is driving me crazy. Whether its an ice cream flavour or a freaking job, i'm in the same kinda spot... mulling over the freaking pro's and cons of eating dark chocolate v/s mint choco chip!!! Pardon the freaking!!
Ok... so here i am... I go for this RANDOM interview with a media planning agency... well its not even a real agency, its an arm of an ad agency... so they dont reaaaally have an identity of their own... but like they claim, they're a '" growing" agency.... hmmmm.... so back to back interviews happen... our lady here cruises through them both... in a matter of a week an offer is being made....n then she chickens out...!!!... well almpost... havent given an answer as yet.
considering the fact that i've been bawling my eyes out for the last freaking 6 months for a freaking job... this should come as alife saver, no?! My scanty analysis of the world economy suggests that we are soooo in the dumps and any job which walks my way should be held onto with both hands... however here i am ONCE AGAIN dissecting the merits of the freaking job till my head hurts!!! Here's what I have:
1. I'm gonna lead a team of 3 people... now THAT is progress!!!! from NO team to team of 3?!! not a bad! THIS is not to mention the palpatations which are driving me crazy at the thought... or the mind numbing, heart stopping fucked up feeling I have at the thought of becoming a GURU to these innocent ones!!! I mean... i'm a kid myself... how am i gonna do dis?! i've never had anyone report into me before... i might just go on a power trip?! ... (whats wrong in dat :P).... see thats what i mean... sheer irresponsible behaviour is what makes me what i am!!!
2. Ok... then there's the whole jazz on growth, learning and experience in the field of communication management of UNA BRANDA !! I buy it... but it also means trying to figure where thy client's money goes... AND if i fuck up ( i'm a group head!) the knife's on my neck... dude!! its tooo much responsibility!!!!
1. Do i wanna kill myself doing this freaking DOGZZZZZZ job... running behind clients for stupid shit... watching media channels n trying to fathom which brand should be advertised where... etc?! No way Jose!!
2. I'm a STRATEGIC PLANNER NOT A MEDIA PLANNER... i mean... i look at the bigger picture... this is soooooo a downgrade from what ive been doing so far!!! its an ego issue, dude to be doing this!!!
3. My heart is screaming at the thought of looking at research data and trying to understand media merit etc... i mean... i'm a strategist, not a clerk!!!
Gawd!!! i feel sooooo uppity just writing this...
do i need to review my priorities?? :(