Overworking the head

So...
A few developments in the head:
- the 'motherly instincts' have woken up... suddenly and with a vengeance... everyone around me seems to be popping babies... and if not.. they're nursing 1 or 2 year olds... i goto a mall and i see kids... i go for a walk i see toddlers... i close my eyes and i see babies. What the hell?!!!
the reason this development is driving me up the wall is becoz, i know that having kids at this point in time is probably the worst idea i can come up with.
Not even been married for a year, and i'm thinking the family way! considering stability in marriage has not come....inspite of all the time spent... i have to make the wiser decision of waiting.

- Talking about the missing stability in marriage :
Well... the link is slowly disappearing... and we are becoming strangers to each other even as i write this. 8 painful months and now we've reached that point when a fight means zero communication for the next 2 days. and even if there is some conversation in the middle... its usually an attempt to bite each other's head off. Patience has never been one of my virtues, and after the last episode it has slowly disappeared all together.
Random thoughts keep coming and going... ideas of how to escape. Useless, defunct, unimplementable ideas... but they help me hang in there... else... there isnt much to dream about in my life at this point, is there