Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Living Alone

its been a while, I know.

Its a combination of writer's block, lack of will, and constant excuses I've been making to myself about how busy my life has become.

truthfully, I dont think life has been all that boring, that there's nothing to tell. Nor have I been thaaaattt busy, that I could'nt pen down a few thoughts.

So i've narrowed it down to lack of will.

why? I will think that one through in further detail and let u know my thoughts on the same soon !!1 ;)

For the moment, am facing another dilemma.

ok.. for those who don't know, I live alone. Practically alone.
For an Indian girl from a moderately liberal family, I've been given soo much freedom that I should thank my lucky stars everyday.

Ive been running away from home ever since school ended, and with my parents permission !!

I spent college in Delhi, living with my aging grandmom. She was a gentle soul, who knew nothing of what was going on under her very nose. So there were parties on weekends, late nights, sneaking in late, sneaking out late, friends staying over, etc.etc.etc.

I was a free bird.

for my post graduation, things went a step further, I shared an apartment with a friend. Great! It was reliving my college years with twice the freedom. Preparing for mom-dad's annual visit was a task, and all we did was look forward to the after party!

I came back to Delhi and started working. Ofcourse, by then grandmom had grown too old to live alone, so she went to stay with parents.

Consequently, alone again.

U must be wondering what i'm getting at... but hold that thought!

Ok... so... my career span has been relatively short, just close to 2 1/2 years.

all in all close to almost 8 years of living alone.

I've lived alone, Ive fended for myself, I've paid the bills, I've come back home in the evenings to an empty 3 bedroom house and felt great. I've become comfortable with silence. I've made a drink in the evenings sometimes. I've called the bf over whenever Ive missed him. I've had crazy parties. I've laughed alone. I've cried alone. And Ive loved it.

Consequently, the idea of living with someone irritates me, intimidates me and ultimately scares me.
Presently, I'm living that idea.

I was told a month ago by parents that my uncle would be in Delhi and would be staying with me for a period close to 6 months.

" The house has 3 rooms, u take 1 !! there's enough room for everyone, without you guys being in each other's face!! " said my dad.

Well... I was ok with it, initially. He's my dad's brother, traditionally one of those " cool" uncle's, out to be best friend's with their niece. etc. etc.

a month in the arrangement, and I'm ready to scream blood.

Now, there is no issue... he's on his own trip, n so am I.

The problem is with ' Presence' ... There's a presence in the house !! There are questions on TV channels to watch. There are questions on what to eat, when to eat. There are questions on why is 'x' at 'y' place and not at 'z'?

And the beauty of it all is that it's only me who has a problem.

My final thoughts on this:

Too much independence can spoil you. Learning to live with people is important, and I regret looking for opportunities to run away from home half my adult life.

1 comment:

lemon said...

god woman..!! wat does one have to do to get u to post :P ...!!! lol
anyway..glad to see u back..!! And m hoping that u'll become a bit more regular..m fed up of checking everyday and not finding a new post here..!

living alone..hmmm..i think im all cut out for it..though i probably wont have that chance in the near future..im totally comfortable with living by myself and doin my own thing..and as for the other person...the longest i can share a living space with a person who isn't my immediate family is less than 72 hours...a minute after that and m ready to kill them...lol..