Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Thought for the Night

Im online... n so is he.
I see him... he sees me. Ignore.
Have blocked and unblocked him a million times already from my msn. No good. somehow I want him there. I want him to see me online... so close and yet so far.

My decisions... my thots... my mind.... shatter around me when I see him there. I will not allow weakness to come in the way, this time. No more pain...
n thats what it will be...one more hello followed by innumerable insults and let downs. Another series of disasters... another kick to my self esteem... another guilt trip for nothing.
So i log off and write this post...
for...
Its better to be apart and miserable, when remembering the good times... than to be together and miserable when living the bad times.

2 comments:

Paulami said...

I like your blog...It's very intense like I don't know I feel like every girls feels these emotions...i know i have certainly been in the situations you describe...i just never have the guts to write about it on my blog...so kudos to you for being so brave.

catmiester said...

thanks enchantelope.

Its not that i'm being brave here... its just such a much required outlet.
No matter how much u talk to friends n family... ultimately only you know what ure going thru. Isnt it?